When I’m feeling trapped…

I was feeling burned out and overwhelmed and trapped. I couldn't figure out how to get out of it. My usual little rituals weren't working. The things that normally helped me to relax weren't working. 

So I talked to my bestie and told her all of it and she said that maybe since I can't change the things that are making me feel unsettled in my life....the big things. That I should go do something outside of my life that makes me feel more connected to me. The me I'm becoming, the one I've always been and the one I am right now.

Luckily my oldest was able to babysit for a couple of hours before he would need my car for work. I went out on a date with myself. 

I got a drink, went thrift shopping, and made an Ulta trip. I let myself just think about me. Not about my kids, or their stories, or work, or my book, or the pressures I'm having right now. 

Just me. Being where my feet are. In the moment. Completely dialed in.  And it worked. I found the perfect thrift store things I have been needing and got things I have been putting off from Ulta. I went home feeling a little less trapped and a little more myself. 

I often forget when I start to become insulated that I need to go out and just be in the moment and look at pretty things and not be productive. 

It's hard, I think, as a single mom to remember to put myself first for moments like this. To remember I'm a whole person with needs and interests and that I need attention too. 

I'm so lucky to have a bestie who knows me so well and who hears me deeper than my words and who reminds me that I matter too.